Human beings have many different kinds of relationships, the most important of which are those through which they express and receive love.
In English we only have one word for love whilst in Greek there are four.
Storge love for family, parents, children, your brothers and sisters
Philia love for you social group/friends
Eros romantic or sexual love,
Agape God’s love (underused word Christians adopted to describe God’s love.)
1. Sex is more than just a physical act.
The AV uses the word “knew” when it refers to a couple having a sexual relationship. The Hebrew word for sex is “yada” which literally means "to know."
Sexual intimacy is not just physical but is about knowing a person’s emotional and spiritual side. God designed sex to be a way for people to know their partners in a way that is exclusive to their relationship.
“It’s not because Christians are against sex that they are hot on chastity before marriage and fidelity in it; on the contrary it is because they value it so highly. Sex is too good a gift of God to cheapen.” Canon Michael Green
When Jesus talked about marriage he said, "So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together let no man pull apart" (Matt 19:6).
When people have sex they may not feel it or recognise it has happened but they have bonded with the other person. They have given not just their bodies but themselves to the other person.
"Sex is like a great river that is rich and deep and good as long as it stays within its proper channel. The moment a river overflows its banks, it becomes destructive, and the moment sex overflows its God-given banks, it too can become destructive." (ANON)
In our society today many people, who are not religious at all recognise that sex needs boundaries but many people today have their own moral guidelines regarding sexual behaviour. The difficulty with everyone forming their own code of behaviour is that it is not always clear that the people we get involved with have the same set of values.
God’s version of safe sex is abstinence until marriage. This is not because he is a kill joy but because it is sometimes necessary to experience short-term frustration for long-term blessing.
God is our creator and he invented sex! If someone has invented something then they are the best person to explain how it works best and how to enjoy it best. We can also trust God on this because he is a loving Father. When a parent places restrictions on a child sometimes it can be because they are harsh and mean but more often it is because they long to protect them from harm. God knows that sexual wounds are among the deepest and most profound wounds that can be inflicted on a person so he created a special kind of relationship to provide a safe context for sexual expression- It is marriage. It is not that we won’t get hurt in marriage because since we live in a fallen and sinful creation, all of us are broken to some extent or another. However marriage provides the safest context for us to enjoy our sexuality.
In all the teaching on love, marriage and relationships there is no suggestion in the Bible that single people live less fulfilling lives. God calls some people to a single life, just as Jesus lived a single life. God blesses people who make the choice to remain single and celibate.
3. We can live in freedom
For many people, the media frenzy around sexual matters is not fun or a joke but a pressure. Our society tells us that if we are not having regular sex, whether or not we are married, there is something wrong with us.
“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognise what he wants from you and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops a well formed maturity in you.” Romans 12:1
The Greek word for lust is epi-thu-mos – epi means to add to signifying that something is being added to a normal drive. Some find themselves struggling to control their desire for sex within God’s guidelines from a pressure within themselves. The Bible calls this lust.
This can be applied to all kinds of things. We should all have an appetite for food, but there are times when have extra cravings for it. It applies to some peoples craving for an adrenalin rush and of course to sexual desire.
There are consequences for giving into lust in these areas. Weight gain is obvious regarding food. Many young men in prison today are there because they let their lust for excitement lead them to steal cars. When men and women have given into lust they have sometimes lost relationships that took years to build for a moment of gratification and sometimes a life-time addiction.
Jesus challenged us not to add onto the God-given sexual drive by polluting our minds with lustful thoughts.
“I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12
Remember Satan is a liar.
The devil will always tempt us to believe that what we want outside of God’s will can satisfy us. It never does.
Remove yourself from danger
Don’t go near the things that draw you in. It may be what you watch on TV, what sites you go onto on the computer, or just the company you keep.
Re-direct your attention
None of us can escape temptations coming our way at some point. Every temptation is first a thought introduced to your mind. Paul advises that we take every thought captive and take it to Jesus.
“Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise let your mind dwell on these things.” (Philippians 4:11)
Ask yourself, “If this thought becomes action, will the outcome be lovely and contribute to excellence in my life? Is it something for which I can praise God? If the answer is no then dismiss that thought and don’t have any more to do with it.
We need to remember that whatever lust we are trying to deal with in or lives will power alone with not be enough. We need the Holy Spirit’s power. We are not on our own.
“Live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”